Do you feel like there’s a mean girl taking up space in your head?
Hey there, friend.
If you're like most women, then the answer is a resounding Yes.
She pops out to say, “That was wrong.”, “They hate you.”, or “Why did you do/say that?!”
Okay, today’s pep-talk is about her: the little, but not so quiet, voice in your head.
Stop letting her run the show.
Stop giving her complete control over the outcome of your life by constantly thinking about what others will think or judging yourself based on outdated rules that keep you from living your life the way you deserve to.
I said it. Outdated Rules.
The rules that you learned to live by as a kid in order to get along, to be accepted, and fit in. I want to let you in on a secret (perhaps the secret): Part of being an adult is learning to be responsible for yourself, and that includes learning to decipher what conditions or “rules” you live by that are serving you, and which ones are not.
You have a choice.
Here’s an example: My parents are extremely loyal, hard working employees. This is a rule they live by. Loyalty is the motivation that drives them to go to work day after day, enduring and “yes, sir”-ing to whatever is thrown at them no matter the sacrifice…and there have been many. I remember a vacation, several actually, where we would be all packed up and ready to leave the next day and wake up to find that our vacation was put on hold because one of them had to go into work, “they had an issue that could not be solved without them”.
Do you see what I mean? Honestly, this kind of thing might happen all the time to working families, and I get it.
But this kind of “rule” is exactly what I’m talking about. At what point do you recognize and acknowledge the sacrifice you are making and decide: “this behavior is no longer serving me and I choose to find another way”?
That’s where the (not so) little voice comes in to knock you down a peg: “Who are you to think you can choose differently? What would you do without this job?” “Who are you to set boundaries with your boss?” (even though your coworker does it daily and no-one questions her…) “Who are you to think you shouldn’t have to make sacrifices when you are taking time for yourself?”
That little voice is your ego, and it is doing its one and only job: keeping you safe. Mostly by thinking about the one thing we all suffer from thinking: “What will others think of me?”. Because you see, keeping you in your comfort zone, doing exactly what you’ve always done, and what is expected of you is what keeps you safe. It keeps you from being ousted from the tribe. And yes, the ego is part of the caveman brain. That is really how it is programmed. To keep you from doing anything stupid so that you: A. don’t die and B. fit in with your people (so that you aren’t shunned to the wild where you will surely die, so back to A. don’t die- This is its job: to keep you alive.)
Is this making sense?
But that shouldn’t mean that you have to co-exist with a mean girl in your head, saying things to yourself that you would never in a million years say to someone else.
You can learn to balance your inner voice.
You can learn to reason with it. You can learn to put it in its place so that you can access more joy (and less worry) in your life.
And I really want to help you do that. Here's how:
Put a name to it. When you name it, you identify that it is not you, and you can choose to go against it, to override it. My mean girl is named Elenore. After years of playing with names this is the one that stuck for me. And man, can she be a real b****.
Build the muscle to counter balance it. Just like working out and building muscle strength, you can build the muscle in your mind too.
I’m talking about meditation.
Meditation will help you to lower the volume on that overly self-critical voice in your head that you have allowed to have the microphone for way too long.
Meditation will help you to lower your stress response and live life with more joy and freedom.
You will start to care less about what other people (and that little voice) think and learn to put more emphasis on what you think, what you care about, what you need.
And life gets a whole lot more fun when you live this way.
I know what you’re thinking right now, and no, you living out your best life will not take away from anyone else.
You know the saying "when Mom’s not happy, no one’s happy"?
Okay, well it works both ways. So when you’re happy and thriving, everyone around you will be too. Win, win!
I’ve created a brand new program to help you build this muscle and calm your mind in just 10 minutes a day. I want you to see just how easy and worthwhile it can be.
And because it is my mission to share mental freedom with any woman who wants it…it's free! My gift.
Take a look. I think you’ll find that this is exactly what you need to tame your mind (and your stress mode) and completely do-able.
Click here to get started and thank yourself later.