Whether your dream is staying home to be more present with the kids, running your own company, or both, there are 3 generational shifts that all women must make in order to move confidently in the direction of their dreams. And do it without feeling guilty, resentful, or depleted.
We are at a unique moment in time where more and more women are finding their voices and answering the call within them to break the mold and do something different.
But it wasn't always this way.
We have generations of passed down instructions encoded within us to "sit still, look pretty", "be seen and not heard", and (my own personal favorite) "be smart, but not too smart".
So, let's look at the 3 most important generational shifts that you can make today in order to start living the life you deserve with joy and fulfillment (minus the guilt and pressure associated with it).
In the 50's
It was customary for women to stay home in this era. The expectation was for them not to work, and instead be almost solely responsible for raising the children, along with the cooking, the cleaning, and meeting their husband at the door after a long day with a scotch in hand, wrangling 5 kids to the dinner table. All while wearing her best dress, lipstick and pearls.
Our grandmothers made life look so easy and posh. Or maybe that was just Donna Reed?
I used to idolize this era of mothers. (Until I became one.) No one said a thing about the unresolved, unspoken grief, frustration and sadness these women carried. They hid it well. And like the women that came before them, they taught the next generation to hide it too.
That would be the baby boomers.
Where women could be anything they wanted outside of the home.
As long as they didn’t earn as much as men…And still did the cooking. The cleaning. The scheduling. And changing all the diapers.
Did they get the short end of the generational stick, or what?
Our moms were superwoman.
They felt the overwhelming responsibility to be everywhere at once and do all the things, all by themselves.
And they were exhausted (and resentful) for it.
But will you ever hear them admit to it?
Because they were taught to hide it. Remember?
“It’s just how it is, Kay.”
Well, I’m calling bull-shit. It might have been how it was. But it is not how it has to be.
Which is why I am feeling oh so passionate about sharing these important shifts with you today. Ready to hear about what we are leaving behind if we don't change it now?
Today’s generation of women are waking up everyday to the call within to do more, have more, and be more.
We are finding the courage within us to break the mold and do something different....
And we are judging ourselves for it.
For most of us, the decision to do something out of the norm is followed by crushing self-doubt, enormous pressure, and often guilt.
The mom-guilt. The mom-shaming. All the things…pointed at women who dare to do something different that they instinctively feel is better for themselves and their family.
Who are we to argue with what is right for one person because it justifies our own choices and lack of self-belief.
Who are we to hold ourselves back from what we know is the right, next step for us, because we are afraid of what others will think or how it will affect them.
Slammed with thoughts of who’s feelings we could hurt, and who will be disappointed by our actions, we stay stuck. Afraid to take the next step.
When you spend time in your head, playing out these fears and scenarios, you only end up hurting yourself.
Let me ask you something...
Do you believe that our kids deserve a better world?
Personally, I believe that it is our collective responsibility to leave this world a little better than how we found it.
I also believe that to do that, we have to be aware of how “the rules”: old, outdated information and behavior passed down over time, keeps us from reaching our purpose. Living the life that we dream of.
Can you really have it all?
Yes. I believe you can.
Anything is possible for you when you make these 3 shifts.
Generational shift #1: Stop Hiding your Feelings.
Stop saying “It’s fine.” “I’m fine.” “Everything’s fine…” (when you know it’s not.)
Generational shift #2: Realize that Superwoman is a fictional character, not an aspiration.
Generational shift #3:
Stop shaming yourself...and judging others based on your own insecurities.
Try this instead.
#1. Learn to let your feelings be felt. They are there for a reason. Let them teach you.
Let them guide you.
#2. Learn to communicate your needs to those around you and get the support that you deserve. No need is too big or too small. You don’t have to be responsible for all.the.things.
#3. Learn to tame the voice in your head so that you can do more of what lights you up without self-shaming judgment or fear of what others will think about it.
I go into detail on how to do this in my free guide The Busy Mom’s Guide to Meditation. Learn how to tame the voice in your head so that you can trust your intuition more and silence the inner critic…okay, okay, so you can’t actually silence the ego, but I do teach you how to “dance with it”. Balancing your thoughts is key. We go over that in part 1 of the guide. Click here to get your copy and start the process of strengthening your inner dialogue today.
Incorporating all 3 shifts will allow you to live the life you dream of without looking back.
And I want that for you more than anything, my friend.
So tell me, what feels like the most challenging part of this list for you?
Leave a comment and let me know. I’d love to hear what resonates for you.